The 25 Commandments of Safe Partying
I got a big kick out of all the unsolicited advice that came pouring out of blogs 6 months ago in regards to the drama surrounding drugs and electronic dance music. We had 20-year-olds trying to give advice to 18-year-olds. Bloggers did their best to find a new angle and weigh in with their opinions; but most of those articles just turned into one-side persuasive essays about how beautiful EDM is and why drugs are NOT ruining dance music culture.
We even published a few of our own:
But at the end of the day, and it’s something we touch on in the articles above, education is the only true path to salvation. Which, in this case, means partying without dying. Consuming more drugs or alcohol than you friends does not make you cooler than them, or cool at all. In fact, you’re probably just immature, or have underlying addiction issues you aren’t ready to come to terms with yet. That’s cool, do you. Also, to the people out there who just like to have a good time, and sometimes that involves doing drugs, do your thing too. I’m not here to judge (unless you’re an immature asshole who throws up on my shoes at a concert). But if you are planning on going hard this festival season, at least take the time to educate yourself with some real safe-party tips.
With the entire summer ahead of us and festival season coming into full swing, I had my mother come up with list of safe partying commandments. Her name is Joyce, she is amazing, and she also happens to be a neurologist. Aka, a brain doctor. This list might not stop anyone from taking a bunch of drugs, but it just might help you save a life.
The 25 Commandments of Safe Partying
1) Do Start slow and pace yourself–enjoy the crescendo of the event–do you want to miss it? The peak experience may be at the finale.
2) Do Drink water or gatorade (low carb) intermittently. Hydrate so the plumbing (arteries/blood vessels) don’t collapse and close up. Dehydration may cause fainting. (editor’s note: I’ve seen people pass out and shit themselves at a concert! Don’t be that guy!/gal!)
3) Avoid mixing downers: alcohol, alprazolam, narcotics and pot. These drugs suppress respiration (breathing) and when people pass out with their face down they may quit breathing. Happens every day.
4) If someone is not arousable after repeat stimulation or not breathing, call medics/911. You may save a life. Lie them on their left side: rescue position.
5) Withdrawal of alcohol and downers may cause seizures. This may be preceded by the shakes (tremors), tachycardia (increased heart rate/pulse) nervousness/anxiety, and sweating/flushing. Do not drive the next day if you have the shakes. 1/11 people have a seizure in their life!
6) Mixing uppers and downers can lead to misreading the amount of downer and respiratory depression: excess ingestion of downers with finally passing out and stopping breathing. Also, mixing uppers and downers is not an art (you are in denial) and leads to irritability, a severe crash and violent behavior.
Downers disinhibit the impulse control and stimulants amp people up. Go for a walk and get some fresh air. Uppers may cause a paranoid psychosis: hearing voices, delusions of persecution, not trusting anyone, and generally freaking out. Also pressured, non stop talking. Delusions of grandeur such as, “I’m God’s special messenger, or I can solve the worlds’ issues may precede sleeplessness and severe irritability and out of control behavior.
7) Eat before you go and drink water gatorade before you go. Eat some healthy food, small quantities; graze . Avoid fried foods or greasy food.
Don’t drink or eat out of someone else’s cup–they may have a disease like hepatitis or mono.
8) Never, never use a needle, especially a used one.
9) Don’t take a drug if you have no idea what it is; or if you do, use a very small amount.
10) If you are hallucinating and getting stressed, just ride it out. Go somewhere calm with 1 or 2 people you trust and who are not annoying. The drug will wear off in time. Chill. Worst case scenario, go to an ER. Do not panic. Do not drive.
11) If someone is getting angry, loud, and threatening–especially if they have a weapon or are looking for a fight –get the heck out of there. Leave alone if you have to.
12) Do not try and break up an argument or a fight. Notify professionals if necessary.
13) What about Enjoying reality, being present, and mindfulness. Memories. Music.
14) Drugs ending in “pam” are addicting and downers: lorazePAM, alprazoLAM, clonazePAM, diazePAM, oxazePAM, diazePAM, etc. Note, zolpidem and lunesta are cousins/derivative.
15) Wrap it up and don’t drive impaired.
16) Speed, cocaine, adderall, ritalin, concerta and other stimulants–including nicotine and caffeine, cause the blood vessels (plumbing) to constrict and there is less blood flow to the brain and heart muscle. This can lead to a heart attack or stroke. Happens every day. If a person feels like an elephant is sitting on their chest, or heart is beating irregularly, or passing out: seek medical attention.
17) Consider sticking some earplugs in your pocket so you don’t get damage to your ears.
18) Know where the exits are!
19) Have your transportation plan.
20) Don’t buy drugs at a concert. Don’t take candy from strangers.
21) Don’t take anything with you that you do not mind losing.
22) Do not go by yourself to a stranger’s car, or to the woods, or outside.
23) Use the buddy system, go with a friend, and have a meeting place and time if you get separated. Have a plan if you lose your phone!
24) Don’t climb on things or people that may fall. Do stay away from leaning over balconies.
25) If someone is slurring their words, stumbling, eyes are closing, sloppy, or “blacking out” = No more alcohol or drugs.
So there you have it folks, Dr. Mauk’s 25 party commandments. She raised me and I survived my early twenties so she had to be doing something right. I hope you found this helpful and I hope to see you out there this summer (safely!) partying it up 🙂